Thursday, January 18, 2007
the oxo cube
CBB5 Day Fourteen
Never has the saying 'money talks' been more apposite than today. With the news that Charles Dunstone's Carphone Warehouse is withdrawing its sponsorship from this whole BB debacle, we are able to deduce some important implications.
This action gives credibility to the concerns of all those who have turned OFCOM's post room and email inbox into a deluge of complaints, for the only language that is ultimately understood by commercial media outlets (in this case CH4) is that of financial Talk Talk.
We can be fairly sure that this afternoon's private coaching of Jade (in the diary room) was a panicky measure designed to save this grim series from (in media terms) an abject catastrophe. For surely, the next big hit, looming over the horizon, was/is the cancellation of the commercials betwixt and around CBB. If the major companies (and Ocean Finance...of course...) withdrew the revenue stream from this misadventure, then not only would CH4 be taking a beating financially, but we can be certain major heads would roll.
Nothing is more likely to turn the heads of Programme Controllers and Chief Executives than the possibility of a P45 being delivered with the afternoon tea and digestives.
Hence the 'grooming' of Jade towards redemption, and the encouragement to Shilpa to deny any racism. Shilpa, of course, has not seen and heard what we have seen and heard.
Direct quotes from the grotesque Danielle during Day Fourteen:
After the argument, "That was f***ing fantastic. I loved it."
"I think she should f*** off home."
"She can't even speak English properly anyway."
To Jade, "I think your mum would have been proud of you."
Of course, Danielle has not only been saving up her stupidity to fire at Shilpa. When she learned that the vacant Jack had been detained in the diary room to resolve the shopping list, she asked Jade, "Can he read?"
Which in fact, may have been a question on the lips of many, but social etiquette would normally stop us blurting out such an indiscreet notion.
Danielle, though, has no such restraints.
So the dark, brooding, menacing air continues to congeal in the atmosphere in a small part of Borehamwood. I suspect that if this nightmare of a 'show' limps its way to the full length of Lord knows how many days, it will go down in the annals of broadcasting as one of the most ill-advised, poorly produced, and abysmally managed calamities ever staged.
"Your claim to fame is this. Good for you!"
Shilpa Shetty. January 2007.
remotevision@gmail.com
# posted by Terence : 8:30 PM
