Saturday, January 13, 2007
the zombie from the jacuzzi
CBB5 Day Ten
This season of CBB is turning into an unique experience. In contrast to last year's cheery pantomime, with its youthful vigour and Cinderella romance, the 2007 version is a dark and troubled affair. There are undercurrents and swirling tides of brooding surrealism. It is as if the whole affair is being directed by David Lynch. It's a cartoon remix of Eraserhead. The commercial breaks in the highlights show come as gentle relief from the intensity. Don't rain on my parade.
God forbid, but it would be no surprise to wake up one morning to hear of some sort of mutant creature emerging from the plughole of the much underused Jacuzzi and learning that it is has devoured Jo from S Club whilst she slept.
I think the most likely explanation for the mood of doom in the house is that all housemates secretly went through some sort of voodoo ritual in the green room at Elstree prior to being prised into their respective limos.
They are all actually zombies (this of course would also be a sensible explanation for Dermot O'Leary) who have all been reawakened to their new personas by some awful shamanic process, leaving them completely in control of their Endemol masters.
It's not easy to be sure whether it was a dream sequence, but I thought I saw Danielle in a pink tracksuit nominating Leo for acting like an elderly voyeur. Wonderfully, Dirk nominated H for being too happy, but then ruined the moment when he nominated Jermaine for the old, cheesy, non-reason of helping him to leave as he was missing the 'real' world.
In the end, we learned that Little Leo would have been scooped out via the public vote, but due to the manipulation of the procedures by CH4 (Carole & Cleo being parachuted into the eviction lottery for a rather nondescript violation of the 'rules') the Sunday Mirror columnist was ejected well in time to meet the deadline for her to script her exposé in tomorrow's EXCLUSIVE!
Sleep well Big Brother housemates, but keep half an eye open for the lady in the radiator...
remotevision@gmail.com
# posted by Terence : 12:12 PM
