Saturday, January 17, 2009

Bowling Ball On Legs

CBB6 Day Fifteen


Ah! Good. We can concentrate on Tina, because we will probably never have to do so again.
First though, we can celebrate Davina's opening line in her preamble, where she urged the contenders to simply "get on with it, you're getting paid".
More than one has seemed to have forgotten that they actually agreed to do this show.
Terry brought his usual voice of common sense to this issue, by remarking that being in the BB house was "a bit like being in rehab - we're being paid to lose weight, let's take advantage of it".
Tommy Sheridan seems to view his participation as a vehicle to promote various socialist causes. Wear the t-shirt, save the world. I'm sure President Chavez of Venezuela will call a national holiday in his country, to honour Red Tommy being clad in a supportive vest yesterday.


Although Davina started well, we had to suffer with her, as the awful pun about 'Mini-Me, Mini-Mimi" slid past the live audience without even a whimper, never mind a giggle. I paid some interest to the closing credits and noted there exists a 'script supervisor'. Listen to me, script supervisor! Puns don't work for laughs. People groan or ignore puns. They don't create laffs-a-go-go under any circumstances. Write her some proper gags.


So we had World War Three over a shopping list (cast your mind back to the opening night - remember how everyone was going to get on, chill, and talk through any problems? Oh yeah..)
Tina, shouting like a fishwife (though I have never heard a fishwife shout, I must confess), was screeching in complaint about the way people speak to each other. "Even if you're f-----g me and paying my mortgage you can't talk to me that way". Mmm nice double standards there.
It is probable that BB had the 'no moaning for an hour' task on standby for such a moment as this, when the gobbier factions were close to losing control altogether.
As so often when there is a prize related to food and drink for an ad-hoc task, the reward looked like it had, suspiciously, been bought in, pre-prepared, from Tesco.
By a strange coincidence, there is an enormous Tesco about fifty yards from the BB production office. I cannot say whether this has anything to do with the matter.... ahem....


Sorry Davina. I'm really sorry to join in with the criticism again, but after Tina ran through the anticipated, but ridiculous, 'delighted to be evicted' routine, your interview was terrible.
After viewing some dramatic low-lights, Tina was clearly and visibly horrified at herself and her behaviour. Davina played her usual response to boorishness, by encouraging the celebration of rudeness, lack of vocabulary and aggression in the face of adversity. "You were very funny", cried Davina.
The Romeo and Juliet debacle was described as "awesome". "You've been a supportive friend - brilliant"
What cobblers.
It was rather cruel, but it is hard to shake from the mind, the image that Coolio suggested, when he said that he wasn't "taking it from a bowling ball on legs."
I fear I shall always recall Tina with that image in my mind.




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# posted by Terence : 12:28 PM




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