Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Kettle & The Pot
CBB6 Day NineSurely there has never been, in earlier celebrity versions of BB, such a fixation on the financial rewards that have tempted these 'personalities' into Elstree?
During Mutya's rebellion, she fixated on her fee. "Take my f***ing money!", she cried, to nobody in particular. We can be in little doubt that any of our housemates are in there for the social experiment. Each move in each day, seems to have them making mental calculations of the value inherent in their actions.
Ulrika has made it clear that she is in there purely to gain financial benefit for herself and her family. No shame in that of course, but there are few 'jobs' that any of use would undertake where we are clearly on the edge of meltdown.
Indeed, it is only about three weeks, but if we assume that Ulrika's reaction to being left in the house was genuine (and there is no evidence to the contrary), the question hangs in the air like a dark and menacing rain cloud.... Is it really worth it?
So fare thee well than, Lucy. A pleasant person, no doubt, but her nasal speaking mannerism will no longer be there to grate on our nerves, like the proverbial fingers scraping down a blackboard. If ever you find yourself in a stressful situation, Lucy may not be the best person to turn to for comfort.
"You'll be fiiiiiinnnnnne...." she must have told Ulrika fifty times, as if repeating some mantra from a self-help manual. As she did this, she took to rubbing Ulrika's arm in the manner of a carpenter sanding down a table leg. It would be no surprise if Ulrika woke up on Saturday with bruises down her right arm.
Perhaps we received a tiny little fragment of insight into Coolio's dodgy views of, and behaviour around, women. When Ulrika and Coolio were discussing childhood memories, Coolio revealed that his mother had shown quite considerable violence towards him, and we, as amateur analysts were left with an 'aha!' moment.
Coolio refers to his remarks as 'spirited banter' and stated (in a negative connotation) that women expect to be treated as princesses. No Mr Coolio - just with respect, I reckon.
Sigh... as much as it aches the soul to return to Tina Malone, currently all roads lead back to the loud Liverpudlian. "I'm not being selfish" she announced, and then proceeded to dominate the shopping list debate. Tina, did however, bring a few moments relief to poultry up and down the land when she bellowed that she "won't eat thighs". Well at least I assume she was referring to chickens and turkeys. "So long as there's cornflakes and toast", she exclaimed before stomping off for her eightieth cigarette of the day.
In this rant, Tina also revealed that she anticipates being cast in 'Notting Hill 2'. Reports that Richard Curtis was seen throwing his computer and keyboard into a skip may have been exaggerated.
Ever since man appeared on this planet, and managed to tame, or use, fire, a form of container has been used to heat water. The very word, 'kettle' derives from the Latin 'catillus', meaning 'cauldron'. Indeed, a kettle or cauldron has played a significant part in legend, with many historians believing that the Holy Grail of Celtic and Arthurian legend, was, perhaps, a cauldron, rather than the holy chalice that has made its way into more latter day beliefs.
So it must remain a mystery of gargantuan proportions that Tina has thus far in her life, failed to grasp the knowledge, that today's 'high tech' devices, can not only boil water in a mere couple of minutes but (and wait for this bit Tina) you can re-use the kettle and heat up more water! Indeed you can keep repeating this exercise until you have used up all the water on the planet.
This lack of basic understanding of the whole concept of a kettle can surely be the only reason that she raved like a wailing banshee about Coolio actually using the kettle for that aforementioned two minutes to enable him to warm water to wash himself.
Tina could pick a fight with herself in an empty room.
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# posted by Terence : 2:49 PM
