Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
CBB6 Day Four A short diversion, if you'll forgive me for about fifty words or so...
Whilst much of the Middle East is gravely concerned with survival in Gaza, anyone who stayed with Channel Four last night would have seen its voyeuristic cousin, Surviving Gazza, a horribly compelling, between the fingers viewing experience.
Whether 'tis nobler to suffer, or to be the close family of the sufferer could not be established as the main figure, Paul Gascoigne, was noticeable only for his absence, and thus we only heard second hand of his angst, and capacity for drawing disaster from triumph. What became clear to the viewer is that any set backs for the (very) well paid inhabitants of the BB House pale into insignificance to the daily troubles of many outside the confines of TV studios in Elstree.
Back to the business of the day:
Oh yeah - remember how everyone was going to chill? No bitterness and just talk things through? Uh-huh.
Here's a curiosity. The more grouchy and irascible that Tina's comments become, so her face, and her body language, morph her already well-worn features into a facsimile of the sort of person who elbows you out of the way when the Tesco assistant marks down the doughnuts to half price.
Without the daily tasks, and their build up and subsequent fall-out, the highlights show would have very slim pickings indeed; but here we tasked again, and Terry had to once more weed out one poor soul, this time for being the 'least talented'. He was spoilt for choice with this lot.
We began the talent contest with Coolio reprising ye olde Gangsters Paradise, but this proved to be just the amuse-bouche, before we even had the starter, as he was followed by a disastrous Shakespearean nightmare in which a sort of oral painting-by-numbers delivery collapsed under the rather basic premise that Verne did not know his lines, and did not wish to be prompted.
Roll up Ulrika and her forgettable weather forecast and her cri de guerre of no regrets, and step aside please for Mutya, who has disappeared under the radar to date, but here proved she can sing in tune, even if she has little else to contribute. As so often in both versions of BB, the most outspoken and gregarious in the VT become overwhelmed by the reality of the in-house experience.
Ben's performance will have contributed to his odds to win shortening dramatically, but Lucy, with her 'news in briefs' will find that her political speech will not have led to Gordon Brown shaking in his Mr Men pyjamas overnight. This was an under rehearsed car crash of a 'speech' that will finish off any hopes our aspiring Tory had, of even scraping a seat in her local parish council.
Michelle turned in a genuine 'showbiz performance', which clearly set Verne's blood racing and his eyes popping, but the mood soon darkened as the foreboding creased forehead of Tommy the Socialist told us all that America posed the biggest threat to security in the world. I half expected Tommy to rip his drab clothes off revealing the costume of 'Mr Angry', or at the very least to show that he was in fact George Galloway in disguise, but he rather tamely faded away and left the stage to LaToya.
The Jackson family connection was exploited one more time (won't be the last) and we had a short presentation of a sort of 'Michael Jackson-lite', with LaToya briefly trying to whip up some enthusiasm from this rather lacklustre audience of ten compadres.
So Terry's decision was made fairly easy for him and Lucy, "a really lovely girl in every way... but...." , is nominated in this drawn out saga without foresight.
Finally, the Tina vs Coolio conflict is rather lop-sided as only Tina is in conflict. Ms Malone stated in all seriousness, that Coolio hands out compliments to all the ladies.... except her.
If you get to the point where Coolio's views or actions are important to your sense of well-being, then it may be time to re-evaluate your life. We could make a documentary about it all. Surviving Elstree is what we'll call it.
remotevision@gmail.com
# posted by Terence : 7:03 PM
